Wednesday, April 8, 2026

when i think hole in the wall

i think this was 2013. december maybe. id just found work… no. no it wasnt that time it was when i came back from alaska. so it was august, right around when i met john payne.

i was sleeping in the fields by the airport. but i still had all this money from salmon season i didnt know what else to do with so i was at every bar just living it up while i looked for work.

i was wandering down grant ave one night, already drunk ofc. ive lived and breathed alcohol, especially then. but i look up at this little signt hanging over the sidewalk and it says ‘the lovecraft’. n im like ‘oh, no shit?’, and look in… no windows. all blacked out. but i do hear music, so i go in.

whom are these strange people.. that know of lovecraft. i must drink with them

its dark. blacklit. it kind of looks like a halloween party. a little stage with a dj, a few tables for dining on the other side of the room. the little bar between.. one almost wants to draw it but only bc there was so many people in there ig. maybe. in all blacklight.

i go to the bar and they have captain crunch cereal on the menu so i order some just because why not. then i order a doubleshot of absinthe.

its an all 80s night, i gathered, and had a few songs for the dj. but by this time im familiar with djs. they dont normally have anything thats not completely mainstream in their library so i kept it simple this time, asking a song by new order.

i sink back to the bar to watch people dance to my song with another doubleshot, as a homeless man, all my shit 10 miles out in some field by the airport.
i hadnt found any bibliophiles but i did find the 80s. and some hole in the wall that actually serves the devils licorice.

a couple of gals approach me at the bar and they ask me to come back into the hallway toward the restrooms im like sure whatever. there they explain that their friend thats getting married, presently to my right, has been dared to kiss a guy. on their bachelorette's party. i think oh man no wonder theres so many people in here.

i didnt. bc even way back then i felt like an old ass man and that she could do better but strolling out again a while later they just happened to be there and i said ill take you up on that anyways and i took her head in both hands and kissed her on the forhead and said i love you and youre beautiful and goodnight guys, instead

i was drunk as shit and i knew it. but only the first moment after that