After my late pride, the lurid incident
They called — ho-ho! My attempt to flyI hereby take the stand and soddenly oath
On the good book with my good foot
And three toes confess
On behalf of the defendant a lie.
let me cut to the chase and cut it quick!
While I can still raise a finger and
With my good eye your honor identify
the sole witness to their attempted homicide..
the carnies were in town
And late one sat no Sunday eve
I’d taken one for a bite to eat
Recompense for the ride you see
We sauntered over to a place
I think by carnival or carousel street
it was there I recognized
in the parlor mirror a man I manage,
alone at the bar with his drink
And took cas.. the girl round
By the back, for a better seat
But men are oft malicious
And mirrors many misleading things
And he, doubtless another suitor,
Waiting — to be sure — blowing rings
for her, our defendant there, in that
Err.. smoke filled scene.
because strolling home together
From dinner the following week
Hand in hand or at least
That’s what it seemed
over the bridge with talk so sweet..
I’d paused to pack my pipe
Whereupon did she, my lawful wife
Did push me over the railing
— grotts and scotts, flung me bodily
Like a bouquet into the nightly breeze
not a word or warning, heavens
I could hear the pigeons singing!
I didn’t jump I tell you, neverimagined the thing!
Yet for my injuries I’m the oneshamed!
And it wasn’t terror but remorse
Which screamed as I
Plummeted narrowly into death’s
.. onto the blessed decks of ferry boat Mary Alise.