When we'd stopped and I laying suspended over the wide water, and waters only just audible up in the fifty or one hundred foot dead air dawn. I could see it below though looking down through it, through the broken shadows of the big bastard itself still roiling up smothered and half lucid, like ice cream halfwise on a foggy notion of flat peaked highland and rolling hillsides. All hot pink bubblegummed and taffy, when I opened up the can of corn I'd found in the bushes back in bend and threw in a packet of salt to call it breakfast. Phone dead of course and I still don't know what time it is or when it was then when the new crew arrived, in that hour before the hour we pulled again that I pulled out the pen and paper and started this.. for you and for you always.. in that flashlight twilight over the big river with the first thought in mind. Our river yours and mine, watching that son of a bitch rise on up all pink and red plumes blooming like a monster firecracker before sunrise.
My manifest finally kicked and erred to the west and me readied ahead of time knowing it probably would I threw off at the junction on the far side.. headed the other way north and east back to the old farm. Ye old fam. To make some money, to take a little break for a while, to see.. To lay one more time by that big red barn or to lean long and limitlessly into the lithe, laughing, willow
tree.
But I talked to her the other day and she says she's selling the place. Knowing her I'd bet 50 on 50 she won't and might could find some other way to initiate the big change shes so craved in her life, since her older brother and mother both passed away. Still I'm suspicious though that she will eventually so I don't have any long term specifics in mind, no plan but to lay awhile stay awhile and listen in the old bed in the country
side.
And when Jessica told me you were getting married I about died, M.
M. M.. I was so sure. Utmost naivete, that I would find a way to find you again after a time.
But this is our 20's isn't it. These are the years we spend with the reaper riding around on our backs, not at sixty, not eighty.. And I cried like a little boy. The next week after she told me, after I read the text.
And I still can't believe how I much so when you me much not hardly, and in that april only just maybe when I fell, and better yet how I'm worse off now falling now all over again this summer two years later. By these lonesome poplar next to nowhere by this same river.
At the wishram bridge whom I'd burn now, right now if it was that other
tree.
But I talked to her the other day and she says she's selling the place. Knowing her I'd bet 50 on 50 she won't and might could find some other way to initiate the big change shes so craved in her life, since her older brother and mother both passed away. Still I'm suspicious though that she will eventually so I don't have any long term specifics in mind, no plan but to lay awhile stay awhile and listen in the old bed in the country
side.
And when Jessica told me you were getting married I about died, M.
M. M.. I was so sure. Utmost naivete, that I would find a way to find you again after a time.
But this is our 20's isn't it. These are the years we spend with the reaper riding around on our backs, not at sixty, not eighty.. And I cried like a little boy. The next week after she told me, after I read the text.
And I still can't believe how I much so when you me much not hardly, and in that april only just maybe when I fell, and better yet how I'm worse off now falling now all over again this summer two years later. By these lonesome poplar next to nowhere by this same river.
At the wishram bridge whom I'd burn now, right now if it was that other
bridge of the gods, the other one down the other way by dog mountain in may where we hiked to the clouds there, aflame w may lupine and gold balsamroot laudum.
And did you know how I love you. How I love you and
how I love you.
But it doesn't matter does it. And I can't remember where I was with this and never can but that I've left texas on to arizona, winslow and phoenix for a few days, and from there to my fathers and other family in ventura.. And after that a time in your hometown pedaluma and the other, santa rosa, via west colton.. sacramento.. emeryville/sanfransisco.. And up the coast on 101 and the very same again with the thumb to newport. Where I'd lingered a previous year because I was tired because I was weak.